One-on-One Meetings
Meera's first round of one-on-ones turns into five status updates: "the PR is in review, it should merge tomorrow." She learns nothing she couldn't have read on the board. A month later Farhan mentions that Kabir has been unhappy for weeks, and Meera realises she had a private half-hour with him every week and never found out.
The rule
The one-on-one is their meeting: talk about what the board can't show.
A one-on-one is a regular private conversation between a manager and each person who reports to them. Take the rule piece by piece.
- Their meeting. The report's topics come first. A shared running document works well: they add items during the week, Meera adds hers below, and both can see what was agreed last time.
- Regular. Weekly or fortnightly, around thirty minutes. Move it if you must, but avoid cancelling. When the one-on-one is always the first thing dropped, people conclude they are the least important thing on your calendar.
- What the board can't show. Ticket status already lives on the board and in standup. Spend this time on things no tool records: how the work feels, blockers that aren't tickets, friction with a colleague, career goals, and feedback in both directions.
Some questions that open things up:
- "What's taking more energy than it should right now?"
- "If you could change one thing about how we work, what would it be?"
- "Is there anything I could be doing differently for you?"
- "Where would you like to be a year from now?"
Finally, follow through. Write down anything you promise and report back on it next time. A manager who listens and then does nothing teaches people to stop talking.
The shortcut
Apply the board test: if the answer is already visible on the board, don't spend the one-on-one on it. Then ask one open question and listen for the second answer. The first answer is usually "fine"; the real one tends to come after a follow-up and a pause.
Read their agenda first
Before the meeting, Meera opens the shared document. Kabir has added one line: "on-call load".
Drills
Answer fast — trust the rule.
In a one-on-one, whose topics come first?
Neha's one-on-ones are mostly "ticket 412 is done, 415 is in review". What should change?
Which question is most likely to surface a hidden problem?
Meera has cancelled Neha's one-on-one three weeks running because of clashes. What message does that most likely send?
Remember
- The one-on-one is their meeting: talk about what the board can't show.
- Board test first, then one open question, and listen for the second answer.
- Follow through on what you promise, and don't make this the first meeting you cancel.